5 Reasons Why You Should go on a Solo Date

When was the last time you spent time alone? Doing what you enjoy? Listening to your own thoughts? Making time for peace of mind?

I'll be honest, I rarely do this. Why? Because, say it with me "I Don't Have the Time!" Haven't we all said this before in response to do something that requires us to prioritize ourselves? We don't say that about work, or our children, or the other demands on our time and life BUT, when it comes to self care, self-love, it's de-prioritized on the never ending list of to-dos.

A few weeks ago, I had A LOT on my mind. I felt myself about to crash into a wall because I running. Work was intense, family priorities were off the charts and my entrepreneurial endeavors were also requiring a lot of my time. I needed a minute. A minute to step away, gain some clarity with all the clutter in my mind and really take time to spend time cultivating pease, love and clarity in my heart and mind.

So I did. I spent the day with just me. Not as corporate executive, small business owner, wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, creator.... just me, Ayanna, the woman.

I spent time doing things that replenish my joy. I spent time in silence. I spent time prioritizing my favorite things to do and I mean this with all sincerity, it was SOOOOOOOO worth it. I went to the spa and got a facial. I then got a pedicure because it has been moths since my toes got some attention LOL. Then I wrapped it up eating brunch and having a mimosa at one of my favorite restaurants. As I spent time with myself, there are a few things I learned about why this solo time was critical for me.

Here are 5 reasons to go on a solo date

Relax and Recharge

Going on a solo date can give you the opportunity to disconnect from the demands and social interactions that eat up energy and allow you to relax and recharge. Being alone removes a lot of pressure! Pressure to "show up" for others, pressure to be "on" whether it's for work or friends. It gives you a second to not have to be anything for anyone so you can refuel and just be you for you!

To spend time in self reflection and self discovery

I try to start each day in prayer and/or meditation. This helps me to center myself and focus on what needs to happen that day. Then, on any given day, once my feet hit the floor, a lot of my energy is spent solving problems, pouring into other people and handling my daily responsibilities which leaves little time to focus on my own needs. My recent solo date actually afforded me the opportunity to spend time in self reflection - thinking about what I wanted and needed. It allowed me to sort through some of the thoughts and fears swirling in my head about difficult decisions that I needed to make.

Sometimes sitting alone in silence and processing your own thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming! Some times it can create more anxiety! Here are a few things I try to do when this happens:

1. Allow the thoughts to come but not run away into dark places

2. Write down the things that are on your mind and your feelings related to them

3. Don't try to solve a ton of problems during this time. Just bring awareness to what's on your mind, and make a plan to revisit them later

Inspire clarity and creativity

Alone time can inspire your creativity as you have the ability to explore and be inspired at your own pace. This one is a win win for me! Some times having the ability to be free with my thoughts brings forth clarity on my next steps but also creativity around how to bring it to life.

Empowerment

Solo dates empower you to take charge of your happiness and well-being and show you that you are capable of creating fulfilling experiences for yourself and not being reliant on others to create that for you! Solo dates also empower you to make your own decisions without considering anybody else’s feelings, opinions and judgments. You suddenly feel more independent and liberated, while not feeling apart from all the relationships that you cherish.

Increased self-awareness, self-respect and self-confidence

As you spend more and more time with yourself, you realize that you become more self-aware with your choices. This in turn develops your self-confidence and self-respect as you own your likes and dislikes, and you can better communicate the same to your family, friends and partner.

I can truly say that solo dates have absolutely improved my mental and emotional health. When I return from solo dates I feel calmer, more peaceful and happier which then trickles into my personal and professional life. Thus the saying, You can't pour from an empty cup!

Have you been on a solo date lately? Is it time to schedule one?

xo,

Ayanna