When real life gets REAL

My life is like a well choreographed hip hop dance routine. There are a million steps and you gotta hit every one at the right time and on the beat in order for the dance to look right. Not to mention, every dancer in the routine has to be in unison and work together so that when there is time for a varition in the dance, it still looks in sync…

We’ve all seen those dance routines when one person falls out of line and misses a step. You’re like, ok, no problem, she just missed a step and got back in line…. Now, imagine if 2, 3, 4 people start messing up, missing steps, tripping over each other and bumping into one another. Well NOW, you have a whole hot mess on your hands. At this point, it’s not about the 1 person who made a mistake, it's time to just start the whole thing again.

That’s how it is in this balancing act of a life I live. Every component of life represents a dancer in that routine - work, childcare, marriage, self care, business ventures, friendships, etc. When all of those components are working in harmony and in rhythm, it's a beautiful thing. Now don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely ok with a little imperfection. I can deal with 1 of these components falling out of line. In fact, I can probably deal with two... but when there’s 4, that’s when I shut it down!.

It all started when our babysitter quit after 5 years.. If you have ever had a consistent babysitter you know how important that person is to the center of gravity in your life. To have someone who loves and cares for your children while you are working, traveling, having a date night is priceless. Well, one day, I was headed on a trip for work…. My husband was also out of town at a basketball tournament with my oldest and we had our babysitter bridge the gap for us until hubby came back from his trip. As I am about to board my plane, she sends me an email telling me of her plans to resign. I nearly broke down and cried right there in the airport. It was just completely unexpected! Nonetheless, that was one dancer that stumbled out of line, so the routine, carried on.

Fast forward 10 weeks later, we are still struggling to find a baby-sitter to replace her. Now, this is impacting my work, hubby’s work and the kids. Not only are we trying to manage the kids schedules, basketball tournaments, full time jobs, side hustles and regular duties, we are in a whole hiring process - phone screening, checking references, background checking, in person interviewing for a new person! THE STRESSS.

On top of that my assistant in my event planning business moved on to a new role, my junior team member at my day job moved on to a new role, we were getting ready for school, scheduling doctors appointments, traveling and running my businesses, trying to get to the gym, trying to make time for date nights with hubby….. I mean the list is never ending…. At this point, we have to throw the whole dance routine away and start again.

So what now Ayanna?

That’s the exact question I asked myself. Here’s what I did…. I cried, I prayed, I made myself a cocktail, I had a slumber party with my bestie and then I sat down and wrote this blog entry.

Here’s what I am going to do.

I am going to PAUSE. I need a minute. A minute to pray, center myself, get a handle on all that I have on my plate and get organized so that when I tap in to my village to ask for help, I know exactly what I need.

Next, I am going to ask for help! Listen, there is NO shame in my game when it comes to getting help. I am not perfect. My life is not perfect. I don’t have all the answers. That’s the whole point of having a village. And no, my village doesn’t consist of mostly retired family members, it’s my friends! Friends I have developed from work, church and have known since high school. I tap, knock, call and they are there.

After I pause and ask for help, I am going to say no. No to the extra dance steps that I see and think ooohhhh, that would be a dope move to add to this routine…. NOPE! Not gonna do it, you know why??? I gotta get this one back on track and perfected first before I go adding another darn thing!

Then I am going to constantly remind myself, God has already fixed it. He is in control and that I need to rely on his strength which FAR supersedes what little strength I have.

Life can be hard.... but it is also short. Sometimes it feels like you are in the perfect storm where everything seems to be falling off the tracks! I definitely have been there and am looking forward to the other side.